For My Inaugural Blog, I Bring You Thoughts on the Bathroom

Emergency Exit
Do my children think the bathroom is an emergency exit? Where do they think I am going?

If someone were to invent a time machine or a travel machine it would have to be small enough to fit in a small bathroom.

Why? My children must think that there is an emergency exit or time portal in the bathroom. If I can catch that rare moment to get away and empty my bladder, my children flock just outside the bathroom door!

Yes, an actual “travel” machine would be a savior to mothers everywhere. We could simply excuse ourselves to the bathroom and . . . escape. Maybe we could visit Hawaii, or Australia, or a European castle where we would be treated like a queen. I do not mean just “queen of the throne.”

Safety in Numbers
At least when I do go to the bathroom I know that everyone is safe. It’s the one time I know exactly where everyone is. Because they huddle outside the door. It does not matter if you DO NOT excuse yourself to the bathroom. Somehow they know . . . and they come running full force!

Even though they are screaming and pounding on the door, fortunately I can block it out and actually have a moment’s peace, knowing right where everyone is and what they are doing. It is a brief peace however. Not even close to “5 Minutes . . . “

Soon enough the kids realize that each of their siblings is standing at the door with them. Their hits to the door quickly turn to hits to each other. And thus I say goodbye to my momentary respite. Well, “1 ½ Minutes . . . “ is better then nothing.